Wow am I tired. I hadn't been sleeping well for several nights in a row, but that's been better for the last two nights. Even still, I woke up this morning feeling like I could just roll over, close my eyes, and sleep for another several hours (and it was 9:00 at this point!). And actually, I'm the only one of the three of us who did sleep reasonably well last night. As such, it's a pretty low-key morning around here. Liam's watching an extra helping of Sesame Street this morning, while O and I hang out at our computers. We've both found a number of jobs to apply to today, though. Keep your fingers crossed for us, as we've each found at least one that is absolutely PERFECT.

Next weekend we're going to Gainesville. There's an info session for the MBA program at University of Florida. I'm going to go to that, and we'll visit with our friends who live up there. And their new baby girl!

Alright, off to deal with a StinkBug.
I deleted my other post because, well... this one is going to be a clarification of what led to that. The big thing here is this: I keep finding jobs that require qualifications I don't have. And when I find those, I think, "I wish I had X, Y, or Z." But ... getting X, Y, or Z takes too long to be practical, in a lot of cases. I'd been researching the HIM/HIT programs in the area, thinking it would at /most/ take me a year to complete, hopefully less. And that would open up new doors to me that my current qualifications do not. Unfortunately, it seems like that is likely to take at least a year and a half to two years. Plus I wouldn't qualify for in-state tuition rates until I was almost done with the program, if I started this term (which is, of course, looking less and less likely). So while it's not totally ruled out, it's going on the back-burner (with so many other options and half-options) because I can't justify the time and money expenditure for something I'm not truly passionate about.

The MBA is still a possibility, though I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it full-time. It may be a matter of "wait and see," which is hard right now because so much is up in the air. My big hesitation with the MBA is financial as well. It's even /more/ of a time and money commitment, so I'm hesitant to do it unless I'm REALLY sure it's what I want.

Part of me wonders if I'm just trying to find any excuse to go back to school. And if it's about /that/, rather than really, truly furthering my career ... then no, it doesn't make any sense.

It's also somewhat about control. I can't control the job market. I can't control how long it takes for O or myself to find gainful employment. Returning to school is something I /can/ do for myself, rather than being dependent upon so many outside factors. But again, that's not a good, solid reason, either. I know the MBA makes sense in a lot of ways, but it's very overwhelming, and I'm not sure whether or not I'm ready/willing to take it on at this juncture.

And part of me is afraid of getting stuck. I don't necessarily want to keep being "just" a SAHM anymore. If O finds work before I do, then I'm afraid of feeling trapped. Afraid of stagnating. Please don't read that as, "I don't want to spend time with my son." I do. I love him. But I need a change (ironic, considering the past two months).

... I think I'm having a mid-30s crisis. Where's my shiny new sports car? :P
Things are definitely better today. I'm less sick and miserable, we took a walk in the park (and let L run around on the playground) this morning, and then I got to talk to my mom, Gramma, and two aunts all at once by pure chance.

I know this is going to be a difficult transition, and there are going to be down points. But in the end, it's all going to work out. It always does.

At this point, we're both very much hoping we can make it work to stay here in FL. It's just easier than trying to relocate out of state /again/ and go up to NC. It means we can go ahead and renew licenses here, get FL plates on the car, etc. Not to mention, it means not taking all the stuff we drove down here with on another out-of-state drive! While I do like the idea of NC's slightly milder weather, and its potential in the IT field, etc. ... convenience wins. Again, assuming we can make it work (read: find job(s)).

I am, however, having some hesitation about the MBA idea, but I don't know how much of that is apprehension just due to the enormity of it, and how much is real doubt. In the immediate future, my plan is to go ahead and prepare for starting a program in 2010 - including taking some business classes wherever/whenever I can (going to look at MCC's online options today, seeing as they already have all of my information in their system from when I was a student there before), and beginning preparations for taking the GMAT. I'm sure that as I go about the process, I will be better able to sort out my feelings about it.

Time to finish my lunch and nap a Bug. Hope everyone is well! Drop me a line. I miss you all!


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