dmsj

Day #3:

Today I am very thankful for a long conversation with my husband about forgiveness, putting the past behind us, and giving FL a chance. We attended church again this morning (and L did great in the nursery, giving us a chance to actually pay attention to all of what was being said!), and the topic was “Making Amends, UU Style,” in honor of Rosh Hashanah. Once we were back home and L was napping, we took the opportunity to sit together and really talk about what was on each of our minds.

It was a great day overall, really, but that's the part that stands out in my mind right now as something for which I am particularly grateful.



(Note: Though Nisha's initial meme was to do this for 8 days, I'm going to try to extend it beyond that point. I'm starting with 30 days, and we'll see how it goes from there. I challenge you all to do the same!)

I deleted my other post because, well... this one is going to be a clarification of what led to that. The big thing here is this: I keep finding jobs that require qualifications I don't have. And when I find those, I think, "I wish I had X, Y, or Z." But ... getting X, Y, or Z takes too long to be practical, in a lot of cases. I'd been researching the HIM/HIT programs in the area, thinking it would at /most/ take me a year to complete, hopefully less. And that would open up new doors to me that my current qualifications do not. Unfortunately, it seems like that is likely to take at least a year and a half to two years. Plus I wouldn't qualify for in-state tuition rates until I was almost done with the program, if I started this term (which is, of course, looking less and less likely). So while it's not totally ruled out, it's going on the back-burner (with so many other options and half-options) because I can't justify the time and money expenditure for something I'm not truly passionate about.

The MBA is still a possibility, though I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it full-time. It may be a matter of "wait and see," which is hard right now because so much is up in the air. My big hesitation with the MBA is financial as well. It's even /more/ of a time and money commitment, so I'm hesitant to do it unless I'm REALLY sure it's what I want.

Part of me wonders if I'm just trying to find any excuse to go back to school. And if it's about /that/, rather than really, truly furthering my career ... then no, it doesn't make any sense.

It's also somewhat about control. I can't control the job market. I can't control how long it takes for O or myself to find gainful employment. Returning to school is something I /can/ do for myself, rather than being dependent upon so many outside factors. But again, that's not a good, solid reason, either. I know the MBA makes sense in a lot of ways, but it's very overwhelming, and I'm not sure whether or not I'm ready/willing to take it on at this juncture.

And part of me is afraid of getting stuck. I don't necessarily want to keep being "just" a SAHM anymore. If O finds work before I do, then I'm afraid of feeling trapped. Afraid of stagnating. Please don't read that as, "I don't want to spend time with my son." I do. I love him. But I need a change (ironic, considering the past two months).


... I think I'm having a mid-30s crisis. Where's my shiny new sports car? :P

Things I/we did:

* packed up Buggie's closet, the remaining books in the attic (well, O did that), more kitchen stuff, some desk stuff
* sold one of O's guitars and took away more stuff for Goodwill
* attended a 4th of July gathering, wherein I was reminded how much I don't like being around people who are drinking and not minding their children (but did manage to enjoy some of the company there, anyway)
* took Buggie to a playgroup
* started to feel like myself again, proving (again) that yes, Life Is Better when I'm on Lexapro
* ate more sweets than I should have
* baked bread
* took a meal to a couple of new mommies I know, and saw their teeny-tiny little girl
* dishes, laundry, assorted miscellanea & mundania
* cuddled with my husband
* played with my little boy


Things I/we did not do:

* smack the living daylights out of the child who tried to kick my son, or yell at the people who were drinking and setting off firecrackers
* get out to the house to take measurements (not for lack of trying, mind you)
* do as much packing as I'd have liked
* go home to Ithaca, as I'd really love to be able to do one of these weekends soon

at 6:30ish this evening, we signed the paperwork to make the offer on The House! O has to stop by their office in the morning with our "good faith" deposit, and his cousin (our mortgage broker) will be faxing/e-mailing all the paperwork from his side of things. By close-of-business tomorrow (probably a lot sooner, but that's the deadline), the ball will be rolling yet again. Our buyer's agent doesn't expect they'll even counter our offer. I hope he's right!

Now the waiting game begins again. Things may take an extra day or two longer than they usually would because the sellers are in Florida rather than local.

So glad we got this taken care of today, though. As I've mentioned before, this week is Dress Rehearsal week, so busier than usual. Spending an /extra/ evening out of the house would've been less than ideal. Hopefully the buyer's agent is right and we won't have to meet again to sign counteroffers, etc.

With luck, we'll be moving in August.

zOMG!