I'm not sure the "one year in Florida" plan is actually going to come to fruition. We've both changed our focus a little since coming back from NY and me starting this temp. job and such. It started with a resume-request from one of O's friends, for a position in Palo Alto, CA. This is the same company he was considering during the summer, but we ruled it out because of location. Now, however, we're starting to wonder if we need to change location because let's face it - things have not been all that promising for us here in Florida. We'd both been hoping this possible position was in the company's DC-area office, but it turned out to also be in CA.

However, the company does have a similar (though not identical) position in their DC office. This realization got some wheels turning for both of us, and we're both feeling like maybe that area is the way to go. If anywhere is going to have a decent job market at all, it's going to be that area first. And we have friends there. And the seasons, while much milder than NY, still change there. And it's closer to NY. And there are long-term opportunities there in fields we both desperately want to get into.

And it's not on the west coast, which is looking to be our other major option. If we have to do that, we will. But neither of us want to, particularly. (The thought of it still makes me want to cry; I'm just afraid of closing any doors right now.)


I am posting this as a desperate plea for prayers/positive thoughts/etc. Please keep us in your thoughts in the coming weeks as we try to put this new plan in motion. Please pray that this works out for us in the way we are hoping. I am praying as hard as I can, myself.
It's not my anniversary quite yet, but I was inspired.
dmsj: (autumn)
( Oct. 12th, 2009 08:51 pm)
Today was pretty neutral. We didn't do much - some straightening, I went to the gym, O made chili. No particular high-points stand out to me. But neither do any particular low-points either, so I still call it a win.
dmsj: (smile!)
( Oct. 10th, 2009 08:50 pm)
You really can't go wrong with a day that is made up of library, gym, reading, mini-golf, and Panera. :)
I thought we were getting company this weekend - a distant relative of O's. Turns out, it's /next/ weekend. Annoyed as I was when I discovered the mistake, it's probably for the best. I'm feeling very mellow and keep-to-myself-y, so having someone I've never met in the house overnight wouldn't have been ideal.

Instead, I've gotten to spend the evening chilling out with either the computer or my book, and occasional cuddles from a Bug. Definitely better suited to my mood.
dmsj: (run)
( Oct. 7th, 2009 08:36 pm)
Been very active today. While O was getting ready for a meeting he had this morning (and after he left), I mopped the floors all the way through the house. I also cleaned the master bathroom, stripped the master bed and our bed and threw those sheets in the wash, and straightened (including the lanai). I also did my usual gym routine after O got home and L was napping, AND we all took a walk to/from the park before dinner.

L also gave me no struggle with naptime, which was a nice change.

And I'm now enjoying some relaxy-time, and about to put the computer aside to read more Eragon.
dmsj: (me)
( Oct. 6th, 2009 11:24 pm)
I spent some of my birthday money today. I bought myself 2 shirts and a skirt at Old Navy, all on clearance. And a bathrobe at Target, also on clearance. And 2 workout DVDs and a camera case, plus two CDs-worth of MP3s (the SK6ERS albums I didn't have yet) on Amazon.

Yay shopping that doesn't cost me any real money. :)
As much as it may be tiring to read the same books over and over (and over... and over ...) again, I love that L has inherited our love of books. It's no wonder, really, seeing as we were both early readers and are still bookworms to this day. But still, I love having him curled up in my lap, telling me what's on each page, or having me read him the story contained within. He points out letters, numbers, animals, and random objects, and sometimes completes our sentences as we read to him. The library is one of his very favorite places to go, and books are definitely his favorite plaything.

I spent a good chunk of this morning reading him books while O was making phone calls. And when we returned from errands this afternoon, his first request was "read please."

Even when I'm beat and want to just flump and be left alone, I can't help but to smile at how much he loves to read. :)
dmsj: (catnap)
( Sep. 30th, 2009 08:53 pm)
I think a big part of the reason I get sick more often than most people is because it is almost the only time I take days "off". Today was no exception to that rule. I woke up with a sore throat, stuffy nose (and now that I think about it, I had a sinus headache last night before bed, which I have again now), and a general sense of lethargy. Seeing as neither O nor I slept well last night (L seemed to, but was REALLY cranky before naptime and slept HARD during), we just chilled around home today. I skipped the gym in favor of curling up on the couch with him and an episode of Veronica Mars, and we did nothing more strenuous than playing with Bug or cleaning up after dinner.

While I'm generally all about the go-go-go, it's sometimes nice to stop for a while. Even if it is only because I'm not feeling great.


Positivity #2: I made someone smile today, and tell me she loved me. That always makes me feel good, to know I've made a difference in someone's day, if only for a moment.
There are possibilities all around right now. The most promising is some freelancing work that O has lined up, which could turn into a long-term situation and/or even a partnership. Keep your fingers crossed on that!

I am also hopefully going to be taking on the job of volunteer editor for the church newsletter. I'll be meeting with the administrator on Sunday (unless she e-mails back and wants to get together outside of church some other time) to discuss it. Sure, it's volunteer, but it's experience and it looks good on the resume, and it'll be fun!

I also applied for a job I desperately want, last night. So please keep me in your thoughts in that regard as well!

This may or may not be the light at the end of the tunnel, but there is definitely plenty of hope and excitement in the air around here. :)
I met with another temp. agency today. She doesn't have anything immediately, but chose to bring me in anyway because she only has 2 or 3 other people in my specific geographical area, and apparently folks in this area don't like to drive. So there are at least possibilities. Yes, it's temp work (if anything comes up), but it's SOMEthing. I need that bit of encouragement because in the past week I've had THREE of the jobs I'd applied to get canceled. As O said earlier, welcome to a recession. But still, frustrating. So having a temp agency at least want to get me into their system is definitely a better direction.
Today's positive: ice cream on the beach at sunset )

There is so much happy involved here, I think I'll let the pictures (and the others from yesterday and tonight) speak for themselves. :)
I am very pleased with the amount I/we got done around the house today. I usually save housecleaning for the weekends, figuring it makes more sense to do out-of-the-house things during the week when other folks are working and therefore things are less crowded, but I guess I just felt like it today. I swept and mopped the floors, O cleaned the bathroom countertop, I did laundry. Plus I went to the gym (20 mins. of elliptical) and we got groceries. So yeah, definitely a good, productive day.


I'm feeling a little bit off right now, but I think it's migraine after-effects (yes, I did the majority of the above while fighting a migraine - but it didn't get super-bad until post-gym, thanks to hitting it earlier with the caffeine & Tylenol) and/or hormonal. I'm just kinda blah and very hyper-sensitive to stimuli (noise in particular - fun with a toddler). I'm trying not to focus on it and the negative thoughts (mostly frustration about the job hunt) it's brought with it. But then, that's the point of this exercise, right? To remember the positive in the face of the negative thoughts.
dmsj: (OMG!)
( Sep. 24th, 2009 12:40 pm)
Forgot yesterday's Daily Positivity (#6)!

That said, I suppose a lot of this covers it. Yesterday I was very thankful that L seemed to be feeling a lot better than the day before. I was also thankful for the extra snuggles that tend to come along with having a sick little boy.

(FYI, he's back on regular food as of today, and other than some congestion and occasional crankiness, you'd never know it'd ever happened.)

Will be back later with #7 - I prefer to do them at the end of the day, so I can take the opportunity to look back at the day as a whole.
Today ... was not great. Particularly because my Bug threw up hugely in the middle of the grocery store, scaring O and myself with the way he was gasping and choking. We took him to Convenient Care, though, and everything checks out. Here's hoping (PRAYING!) this was just a random occurrence and nothing at all akin to the Stomach Flu of Doom we all suffered in May 2008.

However, all that said... there is STILL positive to be found (in addition to the fact that things were no worse than they are, with regard to Bug's health). We all got our flu shots today (which is also a positive, considering the lack of insurance at the moment - though L is approved for Kid Care starting in October!), and my little trooper of a toddler did not even whimper when he was jabbed with the needle. He handled his shot better than I handled my own, in fact.

Also... I was feeling better enough today to make it to the gym for the first time since Saturday. So yeah, that's positive too!
Today's Daily Positivity came at me suddenly, from down the hall. I was reading on the couch while O gave L his bath. When he was out of the bath and in the bedroom, I could hear giggles, and silly voices (both of them) saying, "Dry dry dry!" as is one of their little Daddy-Son rituals. I knew O was rubbing L down with his towel and entertaining him in the process. Their fun and obvious love of one another made me break out in a huge smile.

I'm very blessed. :)
dmsj: (kolystar)
( Sep. 20th, 2009 09:15 pm)
Day #3:

Today I am very thankful for a long conversation with my husband about forgiveness, putting the past behind us, and giving FL a chance. We attended church again this morning (and L did great in the nursery, giving us a chance to actually pay attention to all of what was being said!), and the topic was “Making Amends, UU Style,” in honor of Rosh Hashanah. Once we were back home and L was napping, we took the opportunity to sit together and really talk about what was on each of our minds.

It was a great day overall, really, but that's the part that stands out in my mind right now as something for which I am particularly grateful.



(Note: Though Nisha's initial meme was to do this for 8 days, I'm going to try to extend it beyond that point. I'm starting with 30 days, and we'll see how it goes from there. I challenge you all to do the same!)
dmsj: (mommying)
( Sep. 19th, 2009 06:50 pm)
While in the store earlier, L was in the cart and kept leaning forward to give me hugs. Buggie hugs are one of the best parts of any day. :)
dmsj: (balance)
( Sep. 18th, 2009 07:36 pm)
Inspired by Nisha:

Daily Positivity #1:
1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for eight days without fail.
3. Tag eight (or as many as you want) of your friends to do the same.



(Note: I don't do tagging. Do it if you want, don't if you don't. I'm doing it because I need the regular reminders of goodnesses in my life, so I don't slip into focusing on the negatives. YMMV.)


Today's positivity is that I managed to drag my butt to the gym and onto the elliptical for my usual 20-minute workout, despite feeling all blah and flumpy all morning. In fact, I've been generally doing pretty well for gym-things, and I'm pretty pleased with that.
Things are stressful, no doubt. I'm on the verge of making huge life decisions (along with O, of course), and some of them are scary and make me sad.

But tonight, I got to forget about all of that and just play outside with my boys.


Life is good, even when it's hard.
dmsj: (gnome)
( Jun. 29th, 2009 08:17 pm)
I saw a new therapist tonight. The practice is interesting. The office practices a form of therapy with which I was previously unfamiliar, but I think it could be useful to me. The whole idea is to externalize the problem. In fact, the practice has a motto: "The person is not the problem; the problem is the problem." That really resonates with me.

Tonight's session was (as a first session always is) mostly going over history and how the problem (in particular, we're working on my self-confidence issues) has affected me over the years. In the future, though, we'll be concentrating on the opposite tack. We'll be discussing my skills, talents, etc., and in this way "shrink" the self-confidence problem.

I think it will be interesting, and I'm curious to see how it goes.


In the meantime, my head feels like it's starting to "level out" from the Lexapro withdrawal. I've still been cranky and on edge the last couple of days, but it's as likely to be hormones as anything else (possibly more on this later), and doesn't feel hugely overwhelming and all-encompassing as it did last week. I feel like within a short time, I'll be able to get a better view of things, and see what the world looks like through my non-medicated mind, so I can decide whether it's best to stay off and chalk my need for them up to PPD and its after-effects, or go back on indefinitely because the need for them originates deeper than just my 2008 mental state.
dmsj: (kolystar)
( Jun. 28th, 2009 07:07 pm)
Reasons why my husband is awesome (right now):

* He made a kick-ass zucchini, bacon & cheddar casserole for dinner. SO SO good.

* Most of the book-packing in the attic was his doing, and he's also getting rid of a BUNCH of his books, something I've wanted him to do for ages but he resisted.

* He's doing PJs and bedtime-prep all by himself (along with having spent some post-dinner, pre-PJs playtime with Liam) because he knows I need some downtime.

* When we talk about something that isn't working the way it used to in our relationship, he makes serious effort to fix it.

* And most importantly, he's awesome because he's Mine! :)



(And now I'm /really/ headed offline to read.)
In my last post, I was talking about my issues with food, and bad habits. I got some good feedback, including a mention of a weight-loss support group that a friend's mother used very successfully a few years back. I'm thinking of e-mailing the local contact person and see if there's a group that will work for me.

In the meantime, I am trying to do what I can on my own by being more mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth. I don't want to count calories or points or whatever because that just makes me stress out about what I'm eating. (One of the downsides to having an obsessive personality.) But that doesn't mean I can just shove whatever I want into my mouth without a thought, either.

Right now, I'm feeling a lot more focussed and mindful about my eating choices. Today, I have managed not to eat when I wasn't hungry, not to pick up my son's scraps and eat them out of habit. I haven't eaten without giving serious /thought/ to it.

I won't promise that this is going to be enough, but the admission to Oliver and then to you all has made me more aware and more thoughtful about the this. Hopefully that, plus the extra push I've given myself with exercise (which I only started a week ago, so I do need to be a little bit patient). And I think that joining the group might help me to /stay/ focussed and mindful. Which is what I really need, I think.
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